


Wedding Favors

by firesign10



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Romance, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 20:58:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8911720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firesign10/pseuds/firesign10
Summary: Jared and Jensen are the honor attendants for their friends' wedding. As such, they're running around town helping with all the arrangements. While they're happy to help Genevieve and Danneel, they're less than thrilled to keep bumping into each other. Each encounter only reminds them of their own engagement...the one that ended abruptly  a few years ago. Can they remain civil until the ladies' big day, or will everything between them explode at the altar?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dugindeep (hotsauce)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotsauce/gifts).



> **Notes:** Written for Dugindeep in the 2016 SPN/J2 Xmas Exchange. I picked one of the prompts from Dugindeep's choices: “4. Exes keep running into each other because of a mutual friend's wedding escapades/planning/etc. it's awkward and they're reminded of both the pain of the breakup and the good times.”  I had a lot of fun writing this, and I truly hope you enjoy reading it!!!!
> 
> Thanks so much to the SPN/J2 Xmas Exchange Mods, especially [Tebtosca](tebtosca.livejournal.com) for continuing this delightful event! Thanks to [Theatregirl7299](theatregirl7299.livejournal.com) for her swift beta as well as helping me ironing out plot complications and general support! **fist bumps and hugs**
> 
> Extra special thanks to [Milly_gal](milly_gal.livejournal.com) who made all of this amazing art! Bb, this is so generous of you, and it's so pretty!!! Thank you!!!!

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/107662/107662_original.jpg)

Jensen frowned when he walked through the door at Flowers by Ferris. A profusion of flowers in every imaginable color filled vases and refrigerated cases alike, and their combined perfume was heavy and cloying. The first whiffs went right to Jensen's sinuses, and he could swear he felt those sensitive tissues starting to swell. He kicked himself mentally for offering to handle this initial task.

Danneel was his best friend though, and as her best man, Jensen had accepted he'd be acting as her delegate. Just...flowers? Really? He was not a flower guy. That role would be better filled by someone else, someone who could rhapsodize about hues and scents for hours. Someone who could appreciate the differences between mauve and orchid. Someone like--

Someone like Jared. Jensen closed his eyes, blocking out the confusion of color that seemed to discombobulate his brain. He really didn't need to think about Jared right now.

Or ever.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/107321/107321_original.jpg)

“Jensen, look at these! They're beautiful!” Jared's elegant fingers gently caressed a blossom. “The color is perfect for the centerpieces, and the mauve will look both understated and sophisticated with the amethyst and gray linens.”

Jensen studied the light purple flower. It was pretty enough. He looked at Jared and noted how his eyes were shining. “Sure, babe, that looks great.” He leaned over and kissed Jared's cheek lightly. “I always trust your taste, Jay.”

Jared beamed at him. “It's going to look perfect.” He took Jensen's hand and squeezed. “I just want it all to be perfect for us, Jensen.”

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/106865/106865_original.jpg)

Jared sat at the small table, his legs scootched up while he perched on the edge of the little chair. A tablet rested in a lucite holder, propping it up for easier watching. It probably would have been more comfortable arrangement if Jared were not six foot four.

On the tablet, video clips played in tidy little segments, one after the other. Jared's eyes watered, his lids heavy, and he yawned as yet another chirpy DJ introduced yet another wedding reception song staple, exhorting guests to storm the dance floor. Blah. It was all repetitive and boring, and that would just not do. It was up to Jared to find the perfect entertainment and ensure the success of the wedding reception. He'd promised Genevieve that he'd help any way he could when she asked him to be her man of honor, and he was not letting some boring videos derail him.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/107223/107223_original.jpg)

“What do you think, Jen?” Jared waited anxiously while Jensen watched the ninety-second video.

“Well, he plays a nice mix of music at least. He just—it's just missing something.” Jensen shook his head, his face pensive.

Jared sat back in his over-stuffed armchair, vaguely aware that his lower lip was probably pooching out in dissatisfaction. “I thought he was the best DJ so far. I don't know where else to look.”

Jensen twiddled his fingers for a moment. “I think he's good, Jay, I just...” He thumbed the video player off. “What if we went in a different direction?”

The surprise Jared felt must have showed on his face, because Jensen reached over and laid a hand on his. “Just hear me out, sweetheart. I was thinking that maybe, instead of a DJ, we could get a band.”

A band? Now Jared was really surprised. “I didn't think we could afford a band.”

“Maybe we can. Chris and Steve got a couple of other guys together, and they're playing a lot of local gigs now.” Jared could hear the excitement building in Jensen's voice. “They're new enough as a group that we can probably get them cheap, and then we could have live music at the reception.” Jensen's green eyes shone eagerly. “What do you think, baby?”

Jared thought he really didn't even care who did the music, not if Jensen looked at him like this—face full of love, a smile playing on Jensen's full lips, and damn, those sparkling green eyes.

“Sounds perfect, Jen.”

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/106611/106611_original.jpg)

Jensen sighed at the sight of the bakery shop. _Pamela's Patisserie_ read the sign, with the letters painted to look like swirls of icing. A three-tiered cake filled one window, while the other window displayed a couple of tri-level cupcake stands filled with all sorts of different cupcakes. It didn't look awful—in fact, everything looked delicious--but Jensen was not a big fan of sweets or desserts. Which is why Danneel decided he'd be the perfect one to test the cakes.

“If _you_ like it, it's bound to be fantastic!” she'd reasoned.

And so here was Jensen, about to taste ten different cake combinations in order to give Danneel a short list to choose from. 

_What are friends for, if not to help with wedding plans? It's what I came back for in the first place, right?_ he thought, and grimly entered the shop.

  
[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/107223/107223_original.jpg)  


The wedding was only a few weeks away, and Jensen often found himself smiling at nothing. Rose-tinted thoughts wafted through his mind, little cloudy wisps flavored with love that left him warm and happy. The time he spent with Jared was filled with murmurs and kisses, punctuated by passionate clinches that ended in sweaty satiation; sheets rucked and wrinkled beneath their bodies.

When Donna called, Jensen happily burbled the latest wedding details. “The cake—Jared has such a sweet tooth, I wanted him to choose it, but he said I should so it won't be too sweet for me.” He sipped his coffee, about to relate how the final choice had been lemon with hazelnut ganache, but then they changed it to raspberry jam because what if guests were allergic to nuts, when Donna spoke.

“Jensen...I have to talk to you about your father.” Her usually cheerful voice was thin and strained, and Jensen put his cup down as a chill went down his spine. “You know how he's been feeling weak lately? We went to Dr. Kripke and he had a lot of tests done on Alan, and...” Her voice broke in a sob. “Jensen, he has ALS.”

Jensen's knees gave out, in fact his whole skeleton seemed have dissolved and he collapsed onto the bar stool at the breakfast bar. “What? Are—are they sure?” His brain felt like it was pulsing inside his head, and everything looked rather swimmy. “Momma, are they _sure?_ ”

“Yes, baby. They're sure. He's already lost a lot of ground. I hate to ask this, son, but—can you come home?”

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/107321/107321_original.jpg)

Jared opened the door to their house. He was already so used to Jensen's presence that he could immediately feel the place was empty. Dropping his backpack, he scanned the living room, then the kitchen for a note. Nothing caught his eye, so he went into the bedroom to change into a fresh t-shirt.

The envelope was stark against the dark duvet cover. “Jared” was printed across it, black angular letters that Jared knew meant no good. “No,” he whispered. “He wouldn't...”

He reached for the envelope cautiously, like it was going to strike out at him. For all he knew, it was. He extricated the paper, unfolding it and skimming over the words inside.

_Dear Jared,_

_I know we've been talking and talking about this, but I don't feel that we can reach a good answer. You can't come with me, and I have to go help my parents, and neither of those things is going to change._

_You keep saying that we can do a long-distance relationship, but I just don't think it will work. I tried to do that years ago, when Tom and I were together and he had a year-long fellowship in Europe. Phone calls and letters and even Skype are not enough to keep things going. There is no definitive end to my being gone, as it depends on how my dad's ALS progresses._

_So I think it's unrealistic for us to think we can do this, especially as I will be so tied up in my father's care. Because of that, I'm breaking this off now, and going to live at my parents immediately._

_I'm not going to ask you to wait, Jared. It's not fair to you. I don't want to string you along. So I'm releasing you from us. I understand that you might want to talk about this more, but I think we're exhausted all the possibilities. I'm doing what I need to do, and I won't be changing my mind._

_Be happy. No one deserves it more than you. You are the best person, other than my parents, that I've ever known._

_I'm sorry._

_Jensen_

The paper slipped from Jared's fingers, drifting to the floor in a rustle of finality.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/106865/106865_original.jpg)

And here they were, a little over three years later, standing in _Pamela's Patisserie_ , Jensen staring at Jared, who was clutching the pair of white ceramic unicorns that Genevieve and Danneel had chosen to be their cake topper. His face was pale, except for a red circle in each cheek, like a Dutch doll. His hair was a little longer than Jensen remembered, but cut with subtle layers that left it waving luxuriantly around his face. Only three years, but Jared's face seemed more mature, more finely sculpted, and he sported well-groomed stubble that enhanced the planes of his face. He looked edible.

“Uh, hey, Jared.” Jensen cringed inwardly. Could he sound any lamer? “You look...good.” 

Jared's pallor made his eyes look dark and his lips a thin red line. Jensen felt hypnotized watching those lips while they opened and words came out. Then the words themselves took Jensen aback.

“'I look _good?_ That's it? That's all you have to say to me?” Jared's pallor receded as he flushed with anger. “You dump me in a goddamn _letter_ and now I look _good?_ ”

Jensen took a step back, reaching to stabilize a cake display table that he bumped into. “Sorry, I—I mean, you do, and it was something nice to say--”

“ _Fuck_ you, Jensen Ackles! Fuck you all the way down the fucking aisle!” Jared turned to the stunned cake clerk. “Here! Cortese-Harris wedding!” He shoved the unicorns into her hands and whirled around, stomping out the door.

Jensen and the clerk both flinched when the door clanged shut. She looked at him, clearly curious. He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. “I, uh...”

She frowned at him, then flounced away with the unicorns. Jensen sighed.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/106611/106611_original.jpg)

“Really? That's all he said?” Chad crushed some potato chips into his mouth, wiping his hand on his jeans. “Wow, I thought Jenny Bean had more nuts than that.”

“He has no nuts! Or a brain or a heart! He's just a dick!” Jared paced around the room a couple of more times before falling onto the couch next to Chad. “The worst thing? He looked fucking great, Chad. Just great. I coulda pounced on him right there. So not only did he not miss me for shit, I have to get exposed to all his gorgeous Jensen-ness and relive it all over again.” He kicked at the coffee table. “Son of a bitch!”

“So hit that. Then dump him. Get some payback.”

Jared slumped against the couch back. “I can't. I just don't work that way.” He sighed. “I'll just have to wait for a piano to fall on him or something. Let karma do it for me.”

“Do you think he's going to the wedding?”

“Well, _yeah,_ Chad! He was in the wedding cake store! What else would he be doing there?”

“Could be a coincidence. Maybe someone else he knows is getting married.” Chad munched some more chips. “Hey, maybe _he's_ getting married.”

Conversation ended abruptly when Jared kicked Chad off the couch.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/105877/105877_original.jpg)

“Danni, I don't know if I can do this.” Jensen picked up the shot glass and downed the clear contents. The vodka was sharp and icy down his throat, smooth but with a peppery bite.

“Jen, first of all, it's going to be okay. Second of all, you are _not_ not being my best man. You two don't have to do anything that involves interacting if you want.” She poured another shot for them both. “Unless, of course, you want to work on the situation. Especially since you've decided to move back here, now that--”

“Now that Dad's passed away.” Jensen gently spun his shot glass around on the bar top. He'd come for the wedding, sure, but he'd also decided to get away from where he'd had to spend three years watching his dad decline slowly and painfully. He picked the shot glass up and clinked with Danni, closing his eyes as he drank. The minute his lids closed, he saw Jared.

“Maybe. I mean...I wouldn't mind. I didn't leave because I didn't love him. But...” He shook his head. “I broke his heart. I'd hate me too.”

“Hate is very close to love, JenJen. Either way, it's a lot of emotion mixed up with a crapload of passion.” Danni's hand rested on Jensen's. “Maybe just...don't give up.”

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/105877/105877_original.jpg)

Genevieve's head rested against Jared's as they looked in the mirror. They were often mistaken as siblings, despite the foot height difference, with their dark hair and exotic eyes. They'd been besties since freshman year of college, acting as each other's wingman, sharing secrets, supporting each other through hard times. Jared had been nervous to meet Danneel; Genevieve had come home from their first date positive that she was the one. He knew how much his opinion mattered to her—she'd dropped boyfriends and girlfriends in the past when his opinion had tipped the balance. He didn't take that influence lightly. He wanted his girl to be happy, and wanted her treated with the respect and love she deserved.

Jared had also feared the day she would finally go off with someone and leave him alone. Because after Jensen had left him, Jared had been unable to think of anyone wanting him like that again. If he could give everything he'd been to someone, open up every bit of himself, share the vulnerable inner center of his core, and that person could just up and leave? Well, clearly he must be lacking some fundamental element somehow. 

And he'd be damned if he was ever going to do that again. Jared took a long pull on his beer, half-draining the bottle.

“Thirsty? Or just drowning your sorrows?” Genevieve's tone was playful, but her dark eyes were soft as she regarded Jared. He tried to smile, but it must not have worked because she patted his hand. “Don't hurt yourself. I know this is tricky for you. I almost didn't ask, but I—I couldn't imagine doing this without you by my side, Jare. Is that okay?”

He tugged on her arm, pulled her into his lap, where she curled up and rested her head on his shoulder. “Baby, I'm honored you asked me. I confess I didn't realize how many echoes there would be; didn't fathom how painful those echoes would be. But none of that has anything to do with you and Danneel, and I promise I'll do everything I can to make this wedding special for you two.”

_Someone deserves to be loved forever. Even if it's not me._

  
[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/106611/106611_original.jpg)  


Jensen sipped the goblet of ice water, the cubes chiming delicately against the glass. He smoothed a non-existent wrinkle in the cream linen, wishing he were anywhere else but at Devine's Divine Fetes. Danneel had been sent on an unavoidable business trip, and she'd begged Jensen to proxy for her at the menu tasting. “You should really send Sophia—she's much more of a foodie than I am. She always knows what the the hell they're doing on _Chopped_ ,” Jensen had tried to tell Dani, but she'd remained adamant that Jensen do it. And of course he'd acceded.

So now it was time to sample salmon tartes and stuffed mushrooms and chicken scaloppini, making the final decisions on the dinner menu for the gala reception celebrating the union of Elta Danneel Harris and Genevieve Nicole Cortese. Jensen's joy for his closest friend warred with the sorrow of losing this same sense of joy, this celebratory festiveness he'd almost claimed, and most of all, losing the person whose love had promised all of this happiness.

Losing Jared.

Just as that sorrow pierced his heart anew, like Cupid ripping the damn arrow out of Jensen's very flesh, the silver serving cart rattled over, laden with plates. The maître d' began placing them on the table, making two settings.

“Oh, no—Ms. Harris is not able to be here today. It's just me,” Jensen hastened to explain.

“No, no, Monsieur. Today I serve you and--” The maître d' was interrupted by the arrival of another guest.

A tall guest, dressed in a soft, cranberry V-neck sweater and dark jeans covering miles of long legs.

Jared.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/106167/106167_original.png)

Jared stared at the table in shock. Genevieve had asked him to take the tasting appointment for her when she'd been stuck at work with an audit, and Jared, always ready to eat and reasonably sophisticated of palate, had amiably agreed. If nothing else, he'd have a free lunch of fancy food. In deference to the venue, he'd chosen dark dress jeans and a new cranberry sweater with a flattering V-neck. He didn't really know who he was bothering to dress for, but he didn't want to show up as a representative of the bride looking like an out-of-luck college student.

Walking in and seeing Jensen already seated, with plates being distributed onto the table? Jared was wholly unprepared for that.

“What—Jensen, I don't--” was all Jared could stammer out through stiff lips. His heart seemed undecided whether it should stop or beat like a runaway train, and the resultant irregularity was making him feel lightheaded. He grabbed the chair opposite Jensen and plopped gracelessly into it.

“I don't—there must be some mistake.” Jensen turned to the maître d', whose cart had now been emptied. Bowing at both Jensen and Jared, the maître d' spun his cart around and hastily beat a retreat, leaving the two men alone and gazing at each other over half a dozen plates of hors d'oeuvres.

“I didn't know you were going to be here.”

“Me either.”

Silence hung heavy.

“Uh, we should...I mean, I guess you're here for the tasting too. So we should...taste.” Jensen's tone was stiff, but not angry.

“Yes. Of course.” Jared scootched his chair into the table. He looked over the dishes and counted four hot hors d'oeuvres and two appetizers. Glancing nervously at Jensen, Jared picked up a serving spoon in front of his place and served himself the first item. “Ah, would you...shall I?” He gestured toward Jensen's plate.

“Oh, no, go ahead. I'll, uh—I'll take some after.”

 _What, am I going to contaminate you?_ Jared thought snidely, pursing his lips as he served himself. He didn't wait for Jensen to help himself before digging in, tasting each dish in turn. They both ate quietly, the only sounds being silverware tapping against the china and their breathing. After making his decision about what he'd report to Genevieve, Jared wiped his mouth and crossed his arms, vowing silently that he was not going to attempt initiating any small talk. He was just fine with silence.

Jensen finished after him, likewise sitting in silence. Jared repeated his vow to himself, gritting his teeth as the silence went on and on. In reality, it was probably only a matter of minutes when the maître d' returned with his cart, fresh plates of food steaming away. He deftly piled the dirty dishes to one side, served the next round of food, and whisked the dirty dishes away. Again, they were in silence.

Jared was so acutely aware of Jensen being right across the table from him, so on edge, that when Jensen finally spoke, he jumped and dropped his fork.

“The glazed pork loin is delicious, have you tried that yet?”

Jared retrieved his silverware and stabbed the pork. Cutting it in half, he took a bite and chewed, trying to think about how it tasted instead of the shiny smear on Jensen's bottom lip. “Very nice,” he said, and reached for the next dish. “Maybe too much garlic though.”

Once again, the used plates disappeared and fresh food was placed before them. This time, Jared was able to stiltedly discuss the good with Jensen, and they debated the merits of chicken versus fish. Privately, Jared was amazed that he could not only make small talk with his ex-fiancé, but that he could even taste the food itself instead of having a mouth full of ashes.

“So I think the salmon was great, as long as they can handle serving a hundred at once, and the roasted vegetables were excellent, but I would not recommend the pork. It felt heavy compared to everything else, and when you still have wedding cake to follow? It'll be too much. Maybe filet mignons would be better.” Jensen pulled a small notebook out of his pocket and made some notes.

 _Notes. He's writing notes. We almost got married, but then he left and I haven't seen him in over three years, and now he is writing notes about fucking fish and fucking pork._ The enormity of the last three years' pain flooded Jared; his throat swelled and his tongue thickened until he thought he'd never be able to talk again. What did any of this even matter, when his heart had been thrown on the floor, smashed in big, wet, gooshy smears? When _his_ dream wedding had collapsed into crystallized shards of grief and despair all over the parquet floor?

Jared watched himself stand up, his linen napkin sliding off his lap onto the floor; watched himself grab the table edge and flip it over, dishes and silver falling in a cacophony of shattering bits, the food flying through the air and smacking down onto the floor in moist slaps. Watched the shock bloom on Jensen's face, heard the distressed cries of the maître d' and his minions, and all the while Jared moved like a zombie, like a sleepwalker, until he turned his back on the mess and stalked toward the door.

Jared kept moving until he got in his car and started to drive away, shifting gears and merging into traffic while on automatic pilot. Only as he saw the catering hall shrink in his rear view mirror did the sobs—great, wrenching ones--catch up to him.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/106865/106865_original.jpg)

Jensen sat frozen, unable to move or speak in the wake of Jared's spectacular departure. He was aware of the maitre d' barking orders and the servers scurrying to clean up, but he could not react. It was only as the floor was being mopped that he truly became aware of the catering manager speaking to him in urgent tones.

“Mr. Ackles...Mr. Ackles. Please, Mr. Ackles, are you all right?”

Jensen turned his head stiffly. God, it felt like he was half-frozen in ice, with his joints stiff and his skin cold. “Yes. Yes, I'm fine.” He pushed at the table and slowly rose to his feet. “I'm terribly sorry for the—my apologies. Please just send the bill for the food and dishes to me.” He fumbled at his pocket and withdrew a business card. “Here's my contact info. I'm..I'm terribly sorry.”

He could still hear the manager twittering away behind him, but he stepped carefully through the bits of china and salmon as he walked to the door, one measured step at a time. He just wanted the whole mess behind him—the food, the dishes, the emotions ricocheting against the floor and rending his heart. Away, away, get away...

Sitting in his car, Jensen looked at himself in the mirror. Green eyes, freckles, full-lipped mouth—he looked as he always had. _Funny how we can implode, and yet no one sees a thing,_ he thought absently. _How does that happen?_

He carefully drove home, then carefully walked into his still-new apartment. He undressed and carefully laid his clothes aside. Sliding under the covers, Jensen laid his head on his pillow and carefully didn't move as the tears slid from underneath his lids.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/106167/106167_original.png)

“Jared, what the fuck happened at the caterer's?” Danni's hair flew around in fiery, angry tendrils. Jared thought he could almost see lightening flicking in the coppery strands. Her chocolate eyes were dark and snapping. “I just got off the phone with them! Broken dishes, food everywhere, it's a disaster! It's two weeks to the wedding and here I am looking for a new caterer!”

Genevieve hugged Danni, whispering to her until she finally sat down, although her fingers tapped loudly on the table. Gen turned to Jared, placing a hand on his knee and speaking calmly.

“Honey, I know something had to have upset you for you to do that. Can you talk about it? And...where's Jensen?”

Jared's leg twitched so hard that Gen's hand slid off. “Uh, he left. I guess he went home, I don't really know.” Jared stood up and began to pace around nervously. “I'm sorry for ruining things for you. I didn't mean to, I just--”

“Just what, Jare? Tell me.” Gen moved to sit next to Danni, taking her hand and stroking it slowly while they listened to Jared.

“He was taking notes!” Jared exclaimed, the heat of disbelief running through him anew. “Notes about the fucking _salmon,_ and the—the fucking _food,_ like it _mattered!_ Like any of it mattered a fucking rat's ass!” Teas began coursing down his cheeks, and he rubbed the back of one hand over them. “I haven't seen him in three years, did you know that? We almost got married, but he left, and now it's been three years and we're making small talk about flowers and Djs and all this stupid wedding shit!” He caught a ragged breath.

“Jared...I'm sorry, we shouldn't have—we never should have asked you to do all this. It was stupid and insensitive of us.” Danni's voice surprised him—she sounded sad now, and when he turned to look at her, he saw tears standing in her eyes. “I had no idea it was still so fresh for you. We just thought it was all, I don't know, all in the past or something. I mean, it's been three years.”

“We never meant to hurt you, honey,” added Gen, wrapping her arms around him. Danni got up and joined her, hugging Jared. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth; he knew they meant to reassure him, forgive him, and he appreciated it but he needed to get the hell out of there.

Fortunately, as soon as he shifted, they released him, stepping back hand-in-hand. “Thanks,” he choked out. “I'm sorry, I'll take care of everything at the caterer's, but I...I have to go for now.”

He stumbled to the door and practically fell out onto the sidewalk, gulping in lungfuls of fresh air.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/106611/106611_original.jpg)

Two weeks passed where Jensen felt rather like a zombie, except he had no interest in eating brains. He wasn't interested in much of anything. He'd felt like this right after his father had passed away, but moving back here had helped him wake up and start to move on...until now. He mechanically went to work, came home, had a beer, ate dinner. He never heard anything more about the fiasco at the caterer's, and he didn't ask. He only texted with Danni, begging off for the lunch dates or happy hours she proposed. She did text him about a tux fitting, and even in his blurred existence, he knew he had to go.

Riching's Regal Formalwear had his tux ready to try on when he walked in. They'd been ordered months ago, so at least there was no decision-making necessary today. Jensen took the garment bag into the fitting booth, stripped his jeans and t-shirt off, and put the tux on. The waistcoat and bow tie were a bold scarlet, and with the black tux and snow-white shirt, it made for a very crisp and snappy outfit.

_Jensen had protested against the deep purple waistcoats at first, preferring a subtler shade. Jared had won him over though, and as Jensen looked in the mirror, he could appreciate the rich tone with the black jacket._

The mist of memory cleared from Jensen's vision, the red bleeding in over the purple from the past. Jensen shook his head and stepped out of the booth to the pleased reaction of Julian Richings himself as well as some other customers looking on. “She's a lucky girl,” said one mama roguishly. “When's the wedding?”

“I'm the best man, not the groom,” replied Jensen stiffly. “And I wouldn't be marrying a girl.”

The mama's eyes went blank while her mouth pursed, and she hustled off to join the rest of her party. Jensen rolled his eyes. _Whatever. None of it mattered anyway._

“I think you are all set, sir. You look very distinguished. I'm sure your wedding party and your date will be most pleased.” Julian smiled pleasantly as he helped Jensen take the jacket off.

“Yeah. Pretty sure most of them aren't speaking to me right now.” Jensen was surprised as the words left his lips. What did Julian Richings care? His only concern was getting everyone dressed to their taste and budget, not listening to sad sacks like Jensen. But when he looked at Julia, he saw sympathy in those wise, deep-set eyes.

“Tensions run very high around a wedding,” Julian said, his elegant accent modulating his words. “So many emotions flying around. Old feelings re-emerge, new ones are born. It makes for dramatic times.”

Jensen barked a laugh. “You are not kidding, my man. You hit the nail right on the head.” He went back into the booth to finish changing. Handing the pants, shirt, and waistcoat out to Julian;s assistant, Jensen asked, “And in the end, how do you see it all coming out? More toward the upside, the downside, what?”

Julian paused to consider for a moment. “The upside. More things are fixed or restored than broken or destroyed.” He drew the garment bag over Jensen's tux and zipped it closed. “I think that, in the end, you really can't underestimate the power of love.” He patted the bag smooth and handed it to Jensen. “It's a terribly powerful thing, love is.”

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/105074/105074_original.jpg)


	2. Chapter 2

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/105678/105678_original.png)

Jared hesitated before walking into Danneel and Genevieve's kitchen. They'd rented a little bungalow the year before, and a couple of the selling points had been the country kitchen and the open back yard. He plopped his armload down on the counter; a twelve-pack of Corona Light (it was a bachelorette party, after all, light beer was a must) and a brown paper grocery bag filled with tequila, cotton candy vodka, and every nip he'd been able to throw in the bag. He plucked one out: Fireball. Of course.

“Hey, Jared's here with more supplies!” 

Genevieve bounced into the kitchen and hugged him, then began rifling through the bag. “Party favors! We got party favors!” She rummaged around in a cabinet and pulled out a woven breadbasket. “Put all of the nips in here,” she ordered while she put the vodka and the tequila in the freezer.

“You're welcome,” Jared said. “And _cotton candy_ vodka? They really make that? Who drinks that shit?”

“Girls drink it,” Danneel said, entering the kitchen and stopping to kiss Gen. “It's a girly party, so we got some girly drinks. The tequila is for the four of us. Me, Gen, you, and--” she stopped.

“And Jensen.” Jared looked down at the floor for a second, then looked back up and smiled at Danni. “I know. It's his favorite too. Good think I brought plenty of limes.” Reaching into the almost empty bag, he pulled out a mesh bag with six or seven limes in it. “I assume you have salt?”

“Oh yeah, baby, we have salt.” Gen grabbed the limes and promptly cut one up. Retrieving four shot glasses, she filled each one and put a lime wedge next to them. “Where the hell is Jensen?”

“He's right here,” Jensen said dryly. “Along with the snacks.” He carried three plastic grocery bags, all of which were stuffed full of various chips and snack foods.

The girls looked at each other nervously, Jared assumed from the proximity of their best friends' to each other. Gen smiled brightly and said, “Well, we're all set then. Saddle up, Jen, drinks are ready! Pass the salt shaker, y'all!”

“Thank god,” Jared murmured, quickly pasting a big smile on when all three looked at him. “I mean, cheers! Drink up!”

They all swiped salt from their hands, shot the tequila, and bit into their limes. Jared loved tequila—the rich taste of the agave, the combination of flavors, the ritual. But he found his eyes were glued to Jensen the whole time, watching Jensen's tongue slide along his hand, how his throat moved when he swallowed, the almost pornographic way his lips held the lime wedge. Jared's jeans felt seriously tight.

“Gotta hit the can,” he mumbled, hurrying out of the kitchen. He could just imagine the glances between the other three, but he needed a moment to catch his breath; a moment away from Jensen, who could make drinking a shot into a sexual experience. He needed oxygen, needed cold water on his face, and most of all he needed his damn boner to go away.

He didn't think he was going to get that last wish.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/105877/105877_original.jpg)

Jensen had felt apprehensive when he'd first arrived at the bachelorette party. He'd known, of course, that Jared was going to be there, being that he was Genevieve's man of honor. But seeing him standing in the kitchen, filling it up with his big, tall body and stupid hair and ridiculous dimples—well, it had still hit him hard. Thankfully, they had all immediately had a shot, and now he was a few more shots and a couple of beers in, and, well, it wasn't too bad right now.

He was camped out in the kitchen, and Jared apparently was sticking to the living room, so that helped a lot. Jensen was quite comfortable in here, making the occasional drinks for people and replenishing the snacks. It was a very laid back party; Gen and Danni had decided that the wedding reception was the big, fancy party, so this was going to just be friends hanging out. Or ex-friends that were still related by people in common. Something like that anyway.

Danni came in, weaving just a tiny bit. “You okay there, babe?” Jensen asked. “I think it's time for a water break.” He took a bottle of water from a big cooler and opened it for her.

“Yeah, good idea.” She drank thirstily. “Good party, huh?” Patting him on the chest, she asked, “You doing okay there?”

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.” Jensen got a water bottle for himself. He'd lost count of the beers and tequila.

“Okay, because me and Gen—we were worried for a while there.” Danni twisted a lock of her auburn hair while she studied him.

Jensen looked at her, perplexed. “Worried about me? Why?”

Danni gulped some more water. “You know. You an'...an' Jared. All that heartbreak stirred up again. Almost wasn't going to ask you to be best man, y'know? Gen had her heart set on Jared, 'n' we thought—I thought—it might be too much for you guys. Too many...echoes.”

She wandered off, and Jensen sat still, his skin buzzing from her words. They'd worried about the situation. Talked about it. Danni had almost given up having Jensen, her best friend since fifth grade, be her best man because they thought it would be too much for him and Jared. And it _had_ almost been too much, if he was going to be honest with himself.

“Fuck.” He filled the word with all of his frustration. It was bad enough just dealing with him and Jared trying to interact. The last thing the girls needed was to have to deal with their old relationship baggage. Much less dealing with it during a time of happiness, a time that should be given over to joy, not sullied by this kind of darkness.

Jensen pushed himself up. Enough was enough. He was going to find Jared and explain that they had to can it. It was time to concentrate on Gen and Danni, and the rest of it could go hang.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/104822/104822_original.jpg)

Jared sat in the ugly plaid recliner, one hand wrapped around a beer and the other tapping nervously on his knee. He felt hyper-aware of Jensen's presence in the kitchen, but it seemed awkward to just leave the party. So he stayed where he was, talking with whoever stopped to chat between rounds of drinks, keeping a close eye on the kitchen door in case anyone came out.

“Yeah, I think 'on fleek' sounds stupid too,” he said, agreeing with a serious, thin girl with blond curly hair. “Where did that come from anyway?” The good thing about conversations like this was that he only needed half his mind to conduct them. The rest was busy grappling with a six-foot-tall, green-eyed mass of confusion that remained inexplicable to Jared, but so fucking attractive. They may be three years over, but Jensen was every bit as compelling as he'd been back then.

 _Shit!_ Jared's attention had lapsed, and Jensen had exited the kitchen, He was currently chatting with a couple of party-goers. Jared looked around quickly, trying to ascertain his chance of escaping, but his buzz slowed his analytical skills, and there were too many people around, and--

“Hey, Jared.” Denim-clad bowed legs stopped in front of him. Jared's eyes slowly traveled upward, noting the Joker t-shirt, the way that t-shirt clung to the broadest shoulders Jared had ever seen. The scruffy stubbly beard, the fair skin with endless tiny freckles. The green eyes shot with gold, rimmed with dark lashes and accented with adorable crinkles at the corners.

“Uh, hey, Jen. Sen. Jensen.” Jared could feel color burning in his cheeks. Thankfully, Jensen ignored his awkward greeting. “So, what's up?”

“Can we go outside a sec? I wanted to talk to you about something, something with the wedding.”

Jared blinked. “Sure, I guess.”

They made their way to the front door, choosing the front step for more privacy. A rousing volleyball game could be heard in the back yard, shouts and gales of laughter mingling. Jensen sat down on the concrete steps and Jared followed.

“I just have one thing to say, and I hope you'll agree with me.” Jensen wasted no time. “What happened between us sucks, and I know we're both still hurting from it. But what counts right now is that our best friends are getting married, and we're supposed to be here for them. I'd like to suggest we just suck it up for now, be as civil as we can be, and focus on Gen and Danni's day. This is all about them, and we can deal with our own shit afterward.” He turned those huge green eyes on Jared. “What do you say?”

 _I say you're still gorgeous. I say I love you. I say...you broke my heart._ Jared swallowed those words and nodded. “Of course. You're absolutely right. It's about Gen and Danni.”

They stayed there, sitting quietly, staring straight ahead. Jared knew he had no desire to go back inside, but he wondered what Jensen was thinking.

“It does, you know.” The words fell from his mouth without thinking. Jensen turned to look at him again.

“What?”

“It sucks. And it hurts. I thought I was past it all, but...seeing you again? It's brought it all back.” Tears prickled in Jared's eyes and he stared at a robin hopping around the grass. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so...so angry still.”

Jensen cleared his throat, a deep rumble that Jared found oddly comforting. Maybe Jensen was having a hard time too, maybe he was all choked up and couldn't speak. Except then he did.

“Yeah. Me too. The uh, sucking and the hurt. I thought I was over you, Jared Tristan Padalecki, and I come back here, and you're just as tall, just as silly, just as stupidly gorgeous as ever, and I think...I had that.” Jared could hear the thickening of Jensen's voice. “I had it, and I broke it. How stupid am I?”

Jared had never heard Jensen express his pain before; he'd assumed that the break had caused some, but the two of them were always fighting after that until they didn't speak at all anymore. He'd never heard Jensen talk about how he felt at losing Jared, what effect it had had on him. Hearing those words did a lot to clear some of his old anger away. There was no more sense of being unappreciated, that he'd been sloughed off like a snake's old skin. It had hurt Jensen too. Jared had mattered to him.

His moment of clarity still infusing him, Jared found some magnanimity. Suddenly he and Jensen were actually sharing this pain, and that sense of unity let him reach out with one hand, placing it on Jensen's knee, and squeezing.

“You're right, Jensen. I totally agree.” Jared stood up and stuck his hand out.

Jensen stood up and took it. Their shake was brief but firm. Jared made himself release Jensen's hand as soon as it started to slide away. He shoved his hands into his pockets as Jensen turned to go back inside.

On the top step, Jensen turned back to Jared. “Jay, just so you know? I wish things never went this way. I wish I'd done something differently, even though I don't know what that would have been. I wish--”

Jared nodded. “I get it. And I appreciate it. Thanks, even after—well, it still means something.” He forced a half-smile. “Don't suppose we could...you know.” He waggled a hand between them. “Try again?”

The sad smile on Jensen's face mirrored Jared's feelings. “I wish, Jay, but I'm afraid it's just been too long, right? Too much water under the bridge and all. But I do really wish you all the best, man. No one deserves it more.” He hastily turned and practically ran through the front door, leaving Jared calmer than he'd been since the wedding plans started, but no less bereft.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/105877/105877_original.jpg)

The Arboretum was filled with small trees strung with tiny white lights and shiny red ornaments. A dozen or so tables were interspersed throughout them, set with immaculate white and bold crimson linens. Red pillar candles surrounded by white votives made for a simple but elegant centerpiece, the flicking light adding a warm and festive air.

Jared surveyed the scene with a smile; it was beautiful and striking, just like the women who would be married there today. He adjusted his red tie, tugged at his red brocade waistcoat to straighten it, and went to take his place as Genevieve's Man of Honor.

Standing at the podium, he looked across to see Jensen, his counterpart in the ceremony. Jensen was in the same black tux, white shirt, with a red waistcoat and bow tie. He looked cool and dashing and crisp. He nodded to Jared, who nodded back.

The guests were in their seats already, murmuring quietly as they waited for the brides. The wait was short; Jared guessed it was only ten minutes later that the string quartet began to play Pachelbel's Canon in D, and two little girls in red satin dresses came down the aisle, dropping white rose petals from their little baskets. A universal “awww” swept through the guests, and Jared had to smile at the charming picture.

Gen and Danni had each only chosen one female attendant, in addition to their male best friends. Sophia Bush walked down the aisle, her dark hair gleaming against her red silk dress, followed by Hilarie Burton, her auburn waves pinned up with a tiny spray of white buds. The two women parted at the end of the aisle, Sophia standing next to Jared and Hilarie next to Jensen.

The music shifted, and the guests stood. Gen and Danni had decided to walk down the aisle together, so they were side-by-side holding hands. Both wore white gowns, but Gen's featured red lace overlay at the waist and running down the back of the dress and train, and Danni's was trimmed at the bust and the hem with red ribbon. They both looked beautiful, smiling and happy, each clutching their bouquet in their free hand. Danni's was deep red roses and white stephanotis, while Gen had red and white carnations mixed together. The effect was stunning.

Jared was relieved to find himself letting go of the brooding and simply taking it all in; the colors, the music, the emotions. He was so genuinely happy for Gen and Danni, there wasn't room at the moment for his own regrets. He let out a great breath; with his exhalation went the last of his residual tension. He was in the moment, and ready to watch his friends pledge their lives to each other.

Justice of the Peace Kim Rhodes smiled as the women took their places on her left and right. Jared was amused to think how they had all met at kickboxing class, and how happy Gen and Danni were to have a friend officiate at their ceremony. Justice Rhodes spoke briefly about marriage and its importance in society, and how happy she was to now be performing legal marriages under the new equal rights law.

“Do you, Genevieve and Danneel, pledge to create a life of mutual respect, constant compassion, endless generosity, and loving patience toward each other?”

Gen and Danni answered in unison, “We do.”

Jared's mouth twitched, as he remembered Gen's famous temper and Danni's fiery nature. They would fight, he knew, but the love and the passion would withstand it. Glancing across, he saw Jensen's mouth similarly twitching, which made Jared want to giggle. He quickly shifted his eyes and took a deep breath to get control of himself.

Justice Rhodes continued. “Do you pledge to recognize each others' individuality and celebrate each others' uniqueness as a strength in marriage? At the same time, will you guard each others' weaknesses with understanding, support, and inspiration?”

The brides replied, “We will.”

“And do you pledge to share the love you have for each other--to be a couple that lets their marriage radiate unto others, making their lives more beautiful because of it?”

Danni and Gen both smiled happily. “We do.”

Justice Rhodes nodded. “Danneel and Genevieve, if you will face each other and repeat after me: Genevieve, I give you my life. With all that I am and all that I have, I honor you. Danneel, I give you my life. With all that I am and all that I have, I honor you.”

The women repeated the words to each other, holding each others' hands. Jared looked at those clasped hands and imagined that he was standing there holding Jensen's hands. Repeating those vows with Jensen. He was on guard against anger rising again, but there was none. Instead, he felt a quiet sorrow that he'd never get to feel this moment with the man that he loved.

“I, Genevieve, take you Danneel to be my wife, the companion of my house, the friend of my life. We shall bear together whatever trouble and sorrow life may lay upon us, and we shall share together whatever good and joyful things life may bring us. With these words, spoken from my heart, I marry you and bind my life to yours.”

“I, Danneel, take you Genevieve to be my wife, the companion of my house, the friend of my life. We shall bear together whatever trouble and sorrow life may lay upon us, and we shall share together whatever good and joyful things life may bring us. With these words, spoken from my heart, I marry you and bind my life to yours.”

Justice Rhodes laid her hand on their clasped hands. “Genevieve and Danneel, you may now speak your own vows.”

Jared could hear the faint quaver in Gen's voice as she spoke directly to Danni. “Danni, I love you so much. You have taught me that two people joined together with respect, trust, and open communication can be far stronger and happier than each one could ever be alone. You are the strength I didn’t know I needed, and the joy that I didn’t know I was missing. Today, I choose to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Danni was similarly on the edge of tears as she took her turn. “Gen, I promise to love you for who you are, and for who you are yet to become. I promise to be patient, and to remember we are rooted in love. I promise to nurture your dreams and help you reach them. I promise to share my whole heart with you, and to remember to show you how deeply I care for you, no matter the challenges that may come our way. I promise to love you loyally and fiercely forever.”

Jared saw a single tear sliding down Jensen's cheek, and how the corners of his mouth were tucked in tight. It choked him up to see his former fiancé so moved, and wondered if he was imaging this with Jared, just like Jared was imagining this with Jensen.

Both brides turned back to Justice Rhodes. “Hang in there, ladies, you're in the homestretch!” she joked, and everyone laughed. “Okay, now to the big finale. Genevieve, do you take Danneel to be your lawful wedded wife?”

Danni nodded and spoke firmly. “I do!”

“Genevieve, do you take Danneel to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“Yes!” exclaimed Gen, setting off another wave of giggles in the audience.

“By the power vested in me by the State of Texas, I now pronounce you legally wed! The brides may now kiss!” The audience broke out in enthusiastic applause, and Jared realized he was grinning like a fool. His joy seemed to be reflected on Jensen's face; he had a wide smile and the adorable crinkles in the corners of his eyes were out in full force.

Danni and Gen kissed fervently but briefly, turning to face all of their family and friends with joyous smiles on their faces.

Beaming, Justice Rhodes announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, I present Danneel and Genevieve Harris-Cortese!”

Amid much cheering and applause, the brides walked back down the aisle, waving and high-fiving the hands sticking out in their path. As soon as they left the altar, Jared and Jensen fell into place and walked behind them, with Sophia and Hilarie behind them. Jared was highly aware of Jensen walking next to him; the rustle of his clothes, the scent of his cologne, the smoothness of his freshly-shaven cheek. The plush, inviting softness of his lips. The light that lit his eyes from green to sparkling emerald. Jared hadn't even understood how much he'd missed seeing that sparkle.

It was a blur after that. Cocktails and canapés, pictures galore, and finally the introductions into the reception, where all the guests were already seated. Of course, Jensen and Jared were introduced together, and as they burst out into the lights, heralded by the “Mission: Impossible” theme, Jared was again acutely aware of how this would have been if he and Jensen were the newly married couple. It was almost a hallucinatory moment, imagining the two of them in tuxes, trotting out to cheers and applause. As soon as they sat down, Jared gulped half of his water goblet to help ground himself again.

Jensen leaned toward him. “It's kinda surreal, huh?” His eyes were compassionate. “I feel it too.”

Jared nodded wordlessly. His eyes were suddenly full of tears, and he blinked furiously while Danni and Gen were presented. He couldn't look at Jensen—he knew he'd lose it for sure—but then he became aware of a warm weight on his wrist, and he knew without looking that it was Jensen's hand.

The food was amazing, the music was light, and the bar was open. By the time the dancing started, Jared was feeling loose without being drunk, simply hovering in that buzzy, glowing state that good liquor and excellent food can imbue. He stayed off the dance floor—he knew his limitations—but had a good time chatting with everyone. If his social circulating also kept him away from Jensen, well, whatever. His heart was feeling battered enough at this point.

But then of course that song started playing, the one that they never acknowledged as “theirs”, but was; the first rich piano chords captivating Jared just as they always had. He stopped moving, gritting his teeth not to react, to respond, for once...but then Van Morrison's rough, sweet voice began. He closed his eyes, since the room was receding into fog in his mind anyway.

“May I have this dance?” inquired a husky voice. Jared opened his eyes to see Jensen standing in front of him, looking stunning in his tux, with one hand outstretched. “Only if you want to,” Jensen murmured.

Jared found himself reaching out and taking that hand, letting Jensen escort him to the dance floor, where other couples were already swaying and circling to “Someone Like You.” Jensen drew him in, one hand on the small of Jared's back, one hand holding Jared's, and they moved slowly around the floor. Jared knew he was not a great dancer, but somehow when he slow-danced with Jensen, it always worked out perfectly. Their feet never collided, their heads never bumped--they gracefully moved as one.

Jared let himself be guided around the floor, knowing he was safe in Jensen's arms. The music flowed through him, Morrison's expressive voice swelling and falling around them. The warmth of Jensen's skin radiated against him, the scent of Jensen's cologne teased his nose, and he wondered what it was that made him succumb to Jensen's appeal again and again. 

“Jared...” Jensen whispered, pulling him a little closer. “You look so gorgeous tonight.” 

“Thank you,” mumbled Jared. “You...you too.” With a little sigh, he leaned his head against Jensen's, and was rewarded by the slight increase in the pressure of Jensen's fingers, holding him tighter. 

They didn't speak again during the dance, but Jared knew with certainty that Jensen was no less affected by their closeness than him. He could hear it in Jensen's breathing; sensed it in the rhythm of his blood. When the music ended, they remained in each others' arms a moment. Jared felt the faintest brush of Jensen's lips on his cheek before he walked quickly away.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/105297/105297_original.jpg)

Jensen stood outside Gen and Danni's house. He could hear them in the backyard, along with Chris, Chad, Sophia, and Jared. The girls had decided to host a little post-wedding barbecue as a thank-you to their friends, but Jensen had almost skipped it.

He had left the wedding shortly after that magical, heart-rending dance with Jared. He'd thought he'd never hold Jared like that again, and somehow, with the atmosphere of love filling the place, he'd found himself asking Jared to dance.

And Jared had accepted.

And now here stood Jensen, confused, maybe even a little afraid, but finally he reached out and rang the bell before entering the house. 

“Jensen!” He smiled at the group cheer that greeted his entrance into the back yard, noting that Jared just smiled tightly. Jensen went over to Danni and Gen, kissing them each on the cheek. 

“How are my favorite newlyweds? Still disgustingly happy after a whole fortnight of married life?” He grabbed a beer from a big cooler at the side of the steps.

“You know it, dude!” Danni gave Gen a big moist smack on the lips. 

“Excellent! And, uh, gross.” Jensen smirked and took a big swallow of the cold beer.

Jared got up, saying “'scuse me, bathroom” and going into the house. Jensen gave it a slow count of ten and went in after him.

The bathroom door was closed, so Jensen leaned against the kitchen counter and waited. When Jared came out, Jensen asked, “Hey, would you come outside for a sec? Please?” Jared nodded and they went out to sit on the front steps.

“So, is this our spot to have serious conversations?” Jared quipped. Jensen snickered.

“Guess it is for the moment. Although, hopefully this one ends up well.” Jensen drank again and put the bottle down. “I owe you something.”

“What?” Jared's brow wrinkled in confusion. “What do you owe me?”

“The biggest apology ever. For breaking your heart when I broke my own and left. For not trusting us, giving us a chance. And for not accepting that offer you made during the bachelorette party, although my fear was that you were drunk and didn't really mean it. But if you did, then I'm sorry I didn't take you up on it.” Jensen looked up the street, unable to bear seeing Jared for a moment. Turning back, he said, “I meant what I said that night. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm sorry.”

Jared gave a twisted smile. “God, if you only knew how much I'd have given to hear that somewhere over the last few years.” He ran a hand through his hair and shook it all out again. “I guess if nothing else, I've learned to keep going.” Scoffing, he added, “Well, until all this wedding shit started. I thought I was fine, until I saw you again. Then, not so much.”

“Likewise.” Jensen nodded. “It's a lot easier to think everything's okay when you aren't faced with the reality.”

They were quiet for a minute. 

“So--” Jared said.

“Jared--” Jensen said. They both stopped. Jared gestured at Jensen to speak.

“Jared, I love you. I never stopped. If you at all are interested in trying again, I'm ready and willing. If you don't, I understand, and it's on me. I just—after the wedding, I thought—that it was worth the asking.” Jensen's lips felt almost numb as he spoke, and his heart thudded inside his chest.

Jared didn't respond, sitting in silence and studying his hands. At one point, he reached out and picked up Jensen's beer, draining the bottle. Finally, he shook his head.

“It's like you said before, Jensen. There's so much water under the bridge—how can we go back and start over? I don't think we could really get past it all.” He looked at Jensen, and the tears in his eyes made them sparkle even more than usual. “Do you?”

Jensen thought his heart physically cracked, what with the pain in his chest. He cleared his throat. “No, I guess not, Jare. I just...I hoped a bit.”

Jared unfolded his long legs and stood up. “No going back. No re-dos.” Jensen's breathing felt ridiculously restricted, and he wondered idly if his heart would start working again soon or would he just keel over right there.

“Okay,” Jensen managed to say, and he stood up too. He thought he'd just go ahead and leave; there was no way he could go in and deal with a party now. He started to walk down the steps.

Jared put a hand on his chest to stop him. “No re-dos, but...maybe a brand new start. Maybe we put the old crap behind us, and we start as who we are now. Jared and Jensen _now_. Not back then.” A smile crept across his face. “With everything we've learned since then.”

Jensen stared at him, studied the tilted eyes narrowed by amusement, the dimples peeking out and perfectly accenting that slightly crooked smile. Was he joking? Was he toying with Jensen? “Do you mean it?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I mean it.” His smile flickered. “Just remember, we're both different people now. But I think those people have grown up a lot, and they could take a shot at this.” The smile returned, even brighter than before. “And I know this person would like to try.”

Jensen couldn't help himself. He grabbed Jared and pulled him in, wrapped his arms around that stupidly tall man and held him tightly. A soft chuckle in his ear and then arms wrapped around him as well. Jensen buried his face in Jared's neck, snuffling against the soft skin there. “Thank you.”

The shaggy head next to his nodded.

“What's going on here?” Gen's voice was followed by laughter, cheers, and a few catcalls.

“Yeah, what are you nasty boys up to?” purred Danni.

Jensen and Jared broke apart, but still held hands. “I think we, uh...” Jensen stuttered.

“We're starting a new relationship.” Jared's smile was blinding. “Starting today. No what-ifs or shouldas, just the two of us starting now.”

“That's wonderful!” They were submerged in hugs and laughter.

“Okay, let's go back inside and toast these guys!” Chris waved everyone to follow him as he want back to the back yard. Chad stopped in the kitchen and grabbed the tequila.

They were all a couple of shots in when Gen and Danni toasted each other, followed by a high-five. “What's up?” asked Sophia.

“Well, we have to confess something,” said Danni. “We may have been a little naughty.”

“Like what?” asked Jensen, relishing the feel of Jared's shoulder under his hand.

“We really did need your help for planning the wedding,” explained Gen. “But...we may have sent you both to the same place sometimes accidentally on purpose.”

“What?” Jared exclaimed.

“We just wanted you guys to see each other, spend a little time together.” Danni nodded sagely. “And it worked, so we were right.”

Jensen and Jared exchanged surprised glances. “That was a little risky, don't you think?” Jensen asked.

The newlyweds nodded. “Yeah, but hey—sometimes true love is worth the risk, don't you think?” Danni countered. She stroked Gen's dark hair.

Jared started laughing. “Yeah, I have to give that one to them. It's definitely worth the risk!”

“I'll drink to that!” Chad started setting up a fresh round of shots.

As everyone laughed, Jensen and Jared leaned toward each and kissed. Finally feeling Jared's lips against his made the whole thing real. Jensen opened his eyes and saw Jared's hazel ones regarding him. “Worth any risk,” he murmured. “Any risk at all.”

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/firesign10/4507356/105297/105297_original.jpg)


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